So I am in 4-B mining Merc in my Mack when i notice this usual star and what looks like a nova in the sky behind my ship. I have noticed this same star from several systems in the constellation lately. The nova looking nebula is new. I am curious.
Today is the day we say goodbye to Liliana. So far I am holding together but as my thoughts drift to the memorial service about to begin the harder it is to stay focused enough to be the rock I need to be. I know my main purpose need to be as a strong support for John and Maria. While it breaks my heart to know the pain that they are going through, I must hold together for them.
I have admitted that my pain is not the same and the pain is not as bad for me. No one can truly understand the pain of losing a child except those who have lost one as well. I have been fortunate enough to have never had a loss like this myself. My children mean the world to me and when one of them is in hurting then I hurt as well.
I didn’t get to spend much time with Lili but I can’t get her beautiful face out of my mind. I see those big curious eyes looking intently at me trying to figure out the world she suddenly became a part of. She gave me a chance to see the world all anew from the innocent and naive eyes of a child. As an amateur scientist and astrophysicist I enjoyed learning things about our world that people didn’t not see. The eyes of a child see things that others do not. Those eyes are not blinded by expectation or anticipation. They see the world untainted and fresh. This can be disorientating but it is also liberating. It may leave one with a million questions but seeking the answers to those questions gives one a reason and purpose. Without questions to solve discoveries can not be made and advancements can not be accomplished. Einstein said that imagination is more important than knowledge. Who has a better imagination than a child who has a whole universe to learn about. That is powerful. and I have Lili to thank for giving me that gift of seeing the world from her eyes.
RIP Liliana Jean Donaldson
Born: 26 November 2014
Deceased: 28 December 2014
We love you Lili.